Some things are so difficult to write about we prefer to leave the page blank or choose other lighter topics.

It would be much easier for me to stay within my comfort zone and deliver whimsy and light reflection.

Some things are so difficult for us to talk about we keep them at bay even in our own inner dialogue.

We keep them buried. Safely hidden not only from the public gaze but from our own scrutiny.

We have lost one of our family to a cult. I’m not close to her. She’s a distant relative really.

But I’m close enough.

This particular tribe has changed the personality of our dear cousin beyond recognition.

The belief structure and the narrative of the cult are very entrenched.

There is simply no way of shaking her out of it.

Her deluded ideas, ideas that any rational person would dismiss instantly, have a grip and a force that seem unshakable. We’ve all tried in our different ways.

We’ve tried writing, we’ve tried talking on the phone, we’ve tried meeting in our houses, in coffee shops, in neutral spaces, wherever.

We’ve tried counselling, together and separately.

It hasn’t always been easy to even get through.

There have been periods when we’ve been unable or not allowed to talk to her and frankly the responses are often so clouded with aggression and accusations against both individuals and the wider family.

The very clear message she doesn’t like us want to talk to us has made our enthusiasm to engage rather jaded.

Divorce, the police, social services, broken friendships, physical attack, the damaging side of social media and threats of suicide have all featured.

She has disappeared into another world where we are all her enemies, where every action is interpreted as further proof of our heinous conspiratorial duplicity, where she sees herself as a victim in every scenario.

But she herself is full of pain and suffering. So we should sympathise.

But when the characteristics of the personality change are narcissism and aggression, the desire to cuddle and comfort someone who will gleefully smash your face in is somewhat muted.

So who is this strange group who have heralded such a change in our lovely sister?

Who is it who have kidnapped her, given her such a distorted narrative and given her back to us only through her threats and accusations.

Who is it that has turned her against us? Surely such a group should be named and shamed?

The complicated and distorted ideas that are invasive into her life and our lives should be shared and understood.

There is no group. No real actual group.

It is her mental health.

It feels as if she has been kidnapped from us. How we begin to understand that is one of the big questions we all face.

At least we have begun to talk it and this week’s small column in the Gazette is my contribution.